Divided Interests

When we got married, I felt this pull, this tug occuring. Coming from single life to sharing time with another, my time with Christ was in competition like never before. Though new ways arrise to do this with your spouse, that solitude time was a bit harder to create.

Today, I realized what a plunge my spiritual life has taken even in the past few weeks. I have basically stopped reading my bible (again) and my thoughts are so focused on me and this sweet one inside. I will not justify this, however, I do know why it is happening. I spend most of my time preparing food and devouring it! I just think it's funny that I had this idea that "when I got pregnant" I would be so enraptured by God and so taken by the things that He is doing in my body (which I totally am) that it would spur me on to be ever more devoted to the reading of His word and prayer.

I see my interests are dividing again. A wife and now a mother. A mother. Mom. Woah.
Everything is new, so naturally I desire to daydream, however, the REALITY is: I need Christ in my day now more than ever before. I feel this is a natural process (isn't it?)- and maybe even one the enemy uses as a tactic to keep us away from Truth. I do desire Christ, I am just feeling torn. So, instead of being divided, my prayer today is that this brings me ever closer like I imagined it would.

Here's a pic from 8 weeks! A little bulge.